The Anti-Manosphere: 7 Non-Toxic Movies & Shows About Positive Masculinity
When Ted Lasso (2020) first started gaining traction during the COVID-19 lockdown, people were taken aback by the show's unapologetic kindness. Romance authors and novels have been tirelessly championing for kinder, more empathetic men, so the fact that the series was touching on this made it even more enticing. Now more than ever, shows and movies are thankfully approaching characters with a perspective that emphasizes why vulnerability isn't just important but deeply human.
The concept of people feeling their emotions isn't something that should have ever been gendered, but when boys are told not to cry, it builds a stigma that leads to toxic masculinity taking the reins during significant points in life. Movies like Fight Club (1999) or even American Psycho (2000) explore exactly how, but there are also a number of properties today that reject dated patriarchal views as they focus on empathy instead. Here are some of the best ones that'll stay with you, as well as where you can stream them on platforms such as Apple TV, Prime Video, and more.
In recent years, there's nothing that can be crowned as an ode to positive masculinity the way Ted Lasso could. While the titular character is the picture of kindness and optimism, it's how the series explores growth by weaving in conversations about vulnerability that allow it to stand out. It's not afraid of getting ugly, nor is it afraid of touching on anger, but it's how even the grumpiest men work around their pain that's comforting.
Ted Lasso makes a clear point that it isn't a weakness to be vulnerable. It presents moments of presumed failure in a light that pivots the attention toward the effort instead, while simultaneously showcasing how important it is for characters to feel their sadness alongside those beside them. It emphasizes the significance of community, creating a stark contrast to toxic masculinity that sees everything as a hierarchy instead. And the way this show treats its women? A+. The fourth season, focusing on a women's league, is about to hit even harder.
Like Ted Lasso—another Bill Lawrence show also co-created by Brett Goldstein and Jason Segel—Shrinking carefully excavates and explores human emotions to send a message about empathy. Maybe even more so, the show cuts deeper as it places grief front and center to reveal all the different ways people process their sadness, making it especially eye-opening when men are often told not to feel their feelings.
More importantly, Shrinking demands it, with a curmudgeonly character like Harrison Ford's Paul Rhoades making a point in its third-season finale that our scars are evidence of the life we lived. People cannot and shouldn't hide from their feelings, and it's okay to lean on the people beside you when everything goes sideways. It's what happens tirelessly on the show, making it thoroughly refreshing week after week. If you love the emotional impact of Ted Lasso but have yet to start Shrinking, now's your chance.
Josh O'Connor's ability to convey a full range of emotions makes him the perfect actor to star in a movie like Rebuilding. Gentle, heartbreaking, and profoundly moving, a large part of the reason the story stands out is because of O'Connor's character and his approach to tragedy. Too often, we've seen movies or shows where a man faces a tragedy and immediately goes on a quest for vengeance or destruction, but O'Connor's Dusty builds a community.
As a single dad trying to start from scratch, his kindness toward the people around him serves as a reminder of the empathy that's necessary after tragedy. It's a reminder that everyone's lost something, and the best we can do is lend a helping hand wherever necessary. The movie isn't grand, but like Nomadland (2020), it's a simple story about humanity and the innate ability to move forward, making it perfect for anyone who loves gentle men and cowboys.
We didn't all fall in love with Viggo Mortensen's Aragorn for his lush hair and brooding eyes—no, we fell in love with his gentleness. His empathy. His willingness to fight, but to do so with honor. But Aragorn isn't the only one. It's all the hobbits—Samwise Gamgee, especially—it's Gandalf, too. So much of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is rooted in an empathy that allows it to stand out from others like it.
While the story explores greed and corruption, its heart is in the friendships and loyalty. The reason it's so memorable isn't because of its special effects and expansive lore, but for the characters who show up for one another. It's for the male characters, especially those who lead with kindness and do their best to protect those they love without destroying everything else in the process.
Ryan Gosling's Dr. Ryland Grace is the epitome of positive masculinity. Nerdy, kind, gentle in spirit, and a little chaotic. He doesn't have it all together, and when he's thrust into a situation that terrifies him, he doesn't react with viciousness or hatred, but he embraces it. He does the best he can to achieve all that's expected of him, and he even makes an unlikely connection along the way.
It's why we're all so obsessed with Project Hail Mary. Yes, the visuals are out-of-this-world mesmerizing, and the score is addictive, but the movie shines because of Gosling's character. The idea of saving the planet evokes the type of hope everyone's looking for, but it's a character like Grace whose chaos delivers empathy and positivity in a way that's too rare with men. If you loved the kind of captain Jim Holden is in The Expanse (2015), then you know Grace would be perfect aboard their crew, too. And if you don't know either, you're in for a major space trip with some of the best fictional men.
A good chunk of the Avengers embody positive masculinity toward the height of their careers, but there's no one quite like Peter Parker, and no movie more specific than Spider-Man: No Way Home. So much of the reason the portals to the multiverse grow as chaotic as they do is because Peter doesn't know how not to help others—he doesn't know how not to lead with kindness. He is kindness.
And what he ultimately learns with Aunt May's death is what all Spider-Men do—with great power comes responsibility, yet so much of that responsibility is rooted in an empathy that Peter is all too familiar with. A kindness that's intricately woven with his nerdiness. With the losses Peter experiences in this movie alone, anyone else would've been driven to a life of villainy, but instead, our boy accepts his responsibility despite his colossal grief. And if there's one superhero I'd recommend to anyone, it's always Peter Parker, specifically, in this universe.
Positive masculinity isn't a 21st-century concept born out of our collective frustrations, but rather it's a possibility that's always been around. While it's hard to appreciate the story of To Kill a Mockingbird when we're teenagers reading about it in school, it's effortless to recognize just how moving and significant it is as adults. It's especially easy to see how Gregory Peck’s Atticus Finch sets a standard for a good man who does the best he can.
Leading with an example in a time where very little honor exists, Atticus teaches and moves with a comforting gentleness. It’s not every father figure that puts in the amount of effort he does, and the way that he shows how it's possible for men easily contributes to dismantling toxic mentality. It proves that dated patriarchal beliefs are man-made constructs and every human being is capable of goodness so long as they try. As a brilliant story about empathy, few touch on its importance as memorably as To Kill a Mockingbird, making it a must-watch classic for countless reasons.
